Gary Goldhammer –author and storyteller.

PR to the Rescue: Ten Slogans to Save Newspapers

Rarely a day goes by when someone isn’t bellyaching about newspapers and their collision course with the recycling heap of history. I believe, as PR and marketing people, we need to step in and help our ink-stained brothers and sisters of the Fourth Estate (which if it were an actual estate would be in foreclosure proceedings right about now.)

Yes, that’s correct – the newspaper business needs a public relations program. Sounds strange, I know, but at the very least there shouldn’t be a problem getting press releases published.

What the business needs first, however, is a slogan. A powerful, Golgothian statement about perseverance and leadership for the modern era. Or at least something that will fit on the bumper of a Honda Civic (or as reporters like to call them, “luxury cars.”)

Here are ten slogans to get things started. I’m sure I can think of some better ones, but that will cost money – not for the consulting time, but for the bottle of Gentleman Jack and cab fare back home:

1.    The Newspaper – Where Yesterday Lives.

2.    The Newspaper – That Ink on Your Fingers Means It’s Working.

3.    Newspapers – Because You Can’t Line a Birdcage with Google.

4.    C’mon People, It Only Costs 50 cents. Did You Hear Me, 50 Freakin’ Cents!

5.    Credibility, Shmedibility.

6.    All the News That’s Fit to Print – and Some Crazy Stuff, Too.

7.    The Daily Newspaper – Feeding Local TV News with Story Ideas for More Than 50 Years.

8.    Two Words: Lingerie Ads!

9.    Newspapers – Keeping Editors Off the Streets and Away From Your Children.

10.    If We Didn’t Tell You, Who Would? Wait, Don’t Answer That….

If you think of any others let me know. Better yet, just contact your local newspaper and tell them your ideas (this is assuming you’re not too late and you still have a local newspaper.)

We must succeed. If we fail, all those former newspaper journalists will be looking for work – as PR consultants.







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4 responses to “PR to the Rescue: Ten Slogans to Save Newspapers”

  1. Mike Bawden Avatar
    Mike Bawden

    This is hilarious. My favorite: “Feeding Local TV News with Story Ideas for More Than 50 Years.”
    Having worked for a short amount of time in radio, I can tell you that the quality of local news in a market depends almost entirely on the quality of writing seen in local news stories.
    Keep up the grat blog,
    Mike Bawden
    Brand Central Station

    Reply
  2. Markus Pirchner Avatar
    Markus Pirchner

    Jeff Jarvis “BuzzMachine”) but it like this: “Print isn’t dead. Print is where words go to die.”
    But I guess, that’s not exactly what you were thinking of ;-))

    Reply
  3. Denys Bucksten Avatar
    Denys Bucksten

    Newspapers didn’t die; they were murdered by the recent generations of slackers coming out of the nation’s schools. Want proof? In Illinois, the 2004 schoolteacher of the year said, in a public service announcement on WBBM radio, that “most importantly…and the rest doesn’t matter”. Point being – no one knows English anymore and few care. These are the people coming into newsrooms and grabbing top jobs, more becuase they’re politically correct, and in spite of their woeful lack of skills or any committment to being real news reporters.

    Reply
  4. bob Avatar
    bob

    hahahahahaha to the children one

    Reply

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