Author Archives: g24khamr

Thanks For All the Sugar

SO AN ELDERLY CHRISTIAN GRANDMA WALKS INTO A BAT MITZVAH. I know, you’re thinking “what happens next?” Does she lead the Hora? Sing Hava Nagila at the top of her lungs? Do the Electric Slide? Well yeah, sure, she pretty … Continue reading

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A Dollar In My Pocket

IT HAPPENS MORE OFTEN THAN I CARE TO ADMIT. I’ll put on a fresh pair of jeans and find a dollar in my pocket. I’ll smile, then sigh with the guilty resignation of a purpose unfulfilled. I’m not upset that … Continue reading

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In 2018, We Were the Monsters on Maple Street

“The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes and prejudices to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill. And … Continue reading

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A Number in the Dark

SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO LET GO. The jacket from high school that no longer fits (and stop fooling yourself, it never will.) The “lucky shirt” that has more holes than memories. The empty wine bottle you kept for 20 years … Continue reading

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We Don’t Want You to Know

It still happens to us, we just don’t want you to know. We don’t want to bother you. We want you to think everything is fine, because overall it is fine, it’s just fine, and you don’t have to worry. … Continue reading

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In Times of Trouble

WHEN WE WERE LITTLE THERE WERE MONSTERS UNDER OUR BEDS. Now the monsters are out. The Brett Kavanaugh hearings were just the latest escape, our basest fears running free through once reverent halls. The events of Sept. 27 will go down … Continue reading

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A Brief Tribute to a “Super Intelligence”

SEVERAL YEARS AGO, I wrote about my high school friend — not the already famous “Anchorman” one who powned SNL for years, but another less well-known but just as funny and talented one. Steve Mallory to the world, “Stevie” to … Continue reading

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