Welcome Back, America


I know, we’re the ones who kicked you out. Sorry about that. It wasn’t all of us, though — it wasn’t even a majority of us (we’ll talk about that Electoral College thing later.) But we’re here for you now, and we’d love for you to stay if you’ll have us.

Sorry about the mess too, we kinda trashed the place while you were gone. Lost our fucking minds for a while. And to be honest, it’s gonna take a long time to clean this place up. Will probably need a Roomba the size of an asteroid.

But don’t worry, we’ll help. This was our fault after all. We’re the ones who took your values and trampled them like meth addicts at a rave. We let racism run unfettered, legitimized ignorance, embraced the basest instincts of a species untethered by common principles of respect and decency.

We saw a naked emperor and praised his beautiful robes, defended his fascism as “just speaking his mind” or “taking charge.” We fell so far down the well, America, there was barely any more light.

But we made it back, by the throat and by the vote. For the first time in history we defeated fascism on our own shores, storming the ballot boxes from sea to shining sea.

We did it for you, America. Truth is, we need you. if we learned anything these past four years, it’s that we can’t do this on our own.

Please don’t leave us again. Please don’t let us abandon you. We’ve learned our lesson and we promise to do better, to be better. We are still your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free. And we need you now more than ever.

Welcome back, America. Welcome home.

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