Yom Kippur is No Time to Apologize

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF APOLOGIZING AND ATONING FOR MY SINS ON YOM KIPPUR, I FINALLY GET IT.

Apologizing is easy. Being sorry is hard.

Apology requires little effort. An apology is almost always just words, and saying something is a lot easier than doing something.

We like apologies because they make us feel better. But they aren’t supposed to make us feel better, they are supposed to make the other person feel better – and make us all better as a result.

So I’ve been doing Yom Kippur wrong (my apologies.) From now on, I’m going to stop apologizing for forgetting to check in with friends and family, or for not paying more attention to others. I won’t apologize for working too much, for avoiding conflict, or for not getting enough exercise.

From now on, I’m just going to be sorry:

That I’m often too self-absorbed to look beyond my own “to do” list and ego…

That I drift off when I should be present; joke when I should be serious; turn away when I should step forward…

That I too often use work as an excuse to avoid companionship, and my deafness to avoid almost everything else…

That I can’t accept my body for what it is, and make excuses for not doing more to change it…

That I gave up on my dreams long before they gave up on me.

Being sorry will take a lot more effort. Breaking out of those behaviors and mindsets will be even harder.

I’m still going to try. I may succeed and I may not. Probably a little of both. But there’s one thing I absolutely won’t do.

I’m not going to apologize.